Archive for February, 2005

Friday February 25, 2005

Posted in News on 25 February 2005 by Johnny

[NEW (11.10 pm): "When uniformity is compromised, then authority no longer holds." Now there's a scary quote. Of course, it was uttered in defense of a principal's decision that allowing a woman wearing a tuxedo into a high school yearbook was beyond the pale. Well clearly it's worth sounding like a storm trooper for a cause like that. Oh, the horror!

And furthermore, we have two op-ed pieces: Ted Rall tells us why blogs are a right-wing McCarthyist cabal; Ann Coulter tells us why blogs are attack dog mouthpieces for the left. Yeah, these came from the same press syndicate within 24 hours of each other. I take this to be a sign that it's a fairly balanced landscape out

(1) I'm still trying to tell if this is truth, fiction, or parody. The nutshell is this: the state of Massachusetts held a statewide 'Teach-Out' conference on March 25, 2000. Teachers were encouraged to bring their classes from around the state to attend the event, sponsored by the Massachusetts Department of Education, to educate students and teachers about gay issues. The seminars *allegedly* were, in truth, graphic instructions on how to perform a myriad of sex acts. The quote that people have most attached to the seminars was this: 'Fisting often gets a bad rap ... [It's] an experience of letting somebody into your body that you want to be that close and intimate with … [and] to put you into an exploratory mode.’ (As an aside, can someone name a primary source of anti-fisting rhetoric?)

And hence, ‘Fistgate’ was born. Seriously. You can’t make this stuff up — unless it actually was made up. The article comes from the hyper-rightist Massachusetts News, which automatically raises the possibility that this is contrived anti-gay hysteria. I can’t find any reports on this from any source that doesn’t make Rush Limbaugh look left of center. Regardless, let’s take the reactionaries at their word and say this actually did happen. Would it be such a horrible thing? Given that we have public schools, and given that we have chosen to have ’sex education’ classes — which is really a recitation of all the evils of sexuality — why not actually educate the students about sex itself? Seriously. Instead of having children pick up their knowledge of sex from pop culture and the teen rumor mill, why not have them learn actual facts from a reliable source? It’s more applicable to everyday life than ancient history. At the very least, it would boost attendance rates, right? Let the hate mail roll in.

(2) Terri Schiavo. She’s been braindead for fifteen years. Her husband wants to pull out the feeding tube and let her die, which he said followed her wishes. Her parents want to keep it in and, hence, keep her alive. Today, a judge sided with the husband. On March 18 at 1:00 pm, the feeding tube will be removed. Terri will starve to death, pending last-minute appeals.

Honestly? This is the only sane thing to do. (On the other hand, I know of at least one person that said this ruling would be one of the worst legal precedents in history.) It has been established that there is no way to cure this woman. By all accounts, she is a dead person that is still breathing. Her parents, in my opinion, are decidedly selfish in their wish to keep their daughter in this wretched limbo state akin to some twisted tenth circle of hell. They refuse to move on and accept their daughter’s passing. Without mental function, a human life is no longer present. I think that the only humane thing to do is to end the unnatural half-death that Terri has been trapped within.

(3) In this piece from SF Weekly, a Jewish writer decides to infiltrate a white supremacist group to … learn about white supremacist groups, I guess. Interestingly, the meeting is conducted at a local Applebee’s. (I kid you not.) The most bizarre part about all of this is the jovial nature of the story, like some sort of ‘racists say the dardnest things’ sketch, with section headings like ‘Asians, No. Caesar Salad, Yes!’ It is an intriguing, unsettling, and somehow humorous read.

(4) Thursday night, I went and saw Team America: World Police at the cineplex downtown. As one would expect, the film was often crude, but on the whole quite hilarious, since the film essentially managed to mock everything on the face of the earth, including the film itself, in a scant 98 minutes. If you’re trying to maximize US jingoism, is it possible to have a better theme song title than “America … Fuck Yeah!”? I think not. If I tried to explain the film, I’d do it an injustice. You just have to see it. And in case you’re wondering, it’s not at all just a hit piece on Bush. I’d dare say it’s the opposite.

(5) David Shuster of MSNBC posits that we should just rebuild an exact replica of the Twin Towers at the Ground Zero site instead of Daniel Libeskind’s oft-criticized Freedom Tower design, which may have been chosen under less-than-legit circumstances. I always wondered why this sentiment, which seemed quite pervasive once the site cleanup was complete, was never given serious consideration. Of course, no one liked how the Twin Towers looked before 9/11, but I suppose that’s beside the point. The looming question, of course, is whether you could ever get anyone to rent office space on the 100th floor of these buildings. If so, let’s do it. Better yet, let’s make ‘em half a mile high. A rebuild would seem as though we were denying that 9/11 happened, though. However, Libeskind’s design looks like some sort of architectural derivation that ain’t American.

(6) Lastly, for humor’s sake: The FleetCenter, home to the Boston Celtics, is putting up for sale (on eBay — where else?) the rights to name the facility for each day of the year. New York lawyer Kerry Konrad, who went to Harvard, won the naming rights for March 1. His chosen name? The Derek Jeter Center. He gets points for creativity, but given the prospect of Red Sox fans leading a lynch mob, the FleetCenter executives rejected his proposed name. “We decided that all the names had to be rated G, and this name was determined to be obscene and vulgar,” said the president of the building. Ha! Now that was well played. Meanwhile, baseball fans look forward to every Yankees-Red Sox game this season. Of course, topping the last two ALCS battles would likely require nuclear weapons or first contact with an alien species. Still, we’ll see if they can do it. (Go Sox!)

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Tuesday February 22, 2005

Posted in News on 22 February 2005 by Johnny

ADDED (10.30 pm) — State legislators from the rural, conservative eastern half of Washington state have introduced a bill to secede from their Starbucks-drinking and software-programming brethren across the Cascades in the Seattle area and establish the 51st state. After a third count in the Washington governor’s race was fixed changed the results and Democrat Christine Gregoire defeated Republican Dino Rossi, antagonism toward Seattlites in places like Yakima and Spokane has been running high. It’ll be interesting to see if this gets anywhere. Congress would have to approve the split; a new state hasn’t been carved out of another since 1820, when Maine peaceably split from Massachusetts. (There is also the tale of West Virginia, but they were technically seceding from the CSA when they joined the Union in 1863.)

This is a brilliant article about neocon foreign policy. The central premise of it all is this: Bush set a firm (and easy to meet) standard for global interventionism in his Second Inaugural. “It is the policy of the United States to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in our world. This is not primarily the task of arms, though we will defend ourselves and our friends by force of arms when necessary.”

Response: Really?

The question is whether he really means what he says, or if that’s some sort of retroactive justification for the Iraq invasion. Last time I checked, there’s a pretty big number of dictatorships out there. The fact is that we like some of them. Always have. We often change our minds on which dictators are good and which are bad. (Recall that America supplied Iraq with weapons in its 1980-1988 war with Iran before, three years later, deciding that it needed to be invaded after Saddam’s armies conquered Kuwait.)

Suppose China finally decides that it’s going to seize its “renegade province,” Taiwan. Would Bush actually live up to his commitments and go to war with a nation of 1.4 billion people to defend democracy … or would he sell Taiwan down river? With over 150,000 troops in Iraq and numerous commitments elsewhere, it’s hard to see how we could feasibly fight a Sino-American war. On the other hand, what vanguard of democracy would sit by and let 25 million people lose its democratic self-determination and do nothing? Still, what if Europe actually allied with the Chinese? Even so, who’d really want America to be known as a liar and an appeaser?

Decisions, decisions.

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From the department of “And you need to ask why I’m a libertarian??”:

Multiple-choice question: Suppose you’re a first-grade teacher. You see one of your students (a six-year old girl) at recess handing another girl a plastic bag filled with a bunch of dirt, rocks, and clovers she picked off the ground. Your reaction would be:

(a) wry chuckling at the adorable friendly innocence of children
(b) a shrug of the shoulders, wondering what they’re thinking
(c) AAAAAH! DRUG PEDDLER! SOMEBODY CALL THE POLICE!

Well, if you answered (c), you’re qualified to teach in Sikeston, Missouri. Turns out that the teacher, and the authorities, thought it was marijuana. The girl has actually been SUSPENDED for two days — it’s against the school’s zero-tolerance policy to even look like you’re selling drugs. Apparently, it’s against state and federal law, too. “If she would have been 14, we would have arrested her and taken her to jail,” the local police chief said. Great. Now they’re gonna arrest Topher Grace for his role in Traffic.

Also, we’re coming up on hearings for a Supreme Court case that could have ramifications as big as Brown v. Board or Roe v. Wade. Seriously. It’s Kelo v. New London, which will decide the conditions under which the government can just plain steal your property. Such is the wonder of “eminent domain.” If the Supreme Court sides with the defendant, cities everywhere will have the ability to conduct massive Soviet-style operations, evicting people en masse just to build something else that would generate more tax revenue. On a side note, if every city can just kick out whomever it finds undesirable … well, if you think the inner cities are bad now, just wait!

And lastly, from the really personal outrage department: Police forces across the country are arresting people for playing Texas Hold ‘Em! Okay, now you’ve got me really pissed off, y’all. There are few things more hypocritical than a state that bans gambling but also RUNS A STATE LOTTERY. It’s illegal to spend your own money how you want … unless it’s funding the government! I’m just … wow. I’d better stop before I throw something.

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Wednesday February 16, 2005

Posted in News on 16 February 2005 by Johnny

[ADDED: As noted previously, Americans seem to think that gasoline is an inaccurately high percentage of their expenses. Perhaps this would explain why some people back home in Cleveland waited in line for as much as an hour and forty minutes -- just for $20 worth of free gas. Do people not have lives? Do they not grasp that their time could be better spent? You would have thought they were giving away the cars, not the gas.]

The NHL cancelled its season today, a less than stunning development, though one that stings more after negotiations to end the lockout seemed to have some momentum. This disappoints me, because playoff hockey is actually one of my favorite sporting events to watch. Now the league and players’ union will retrench for a battle that may last well into the 2005-06 season. Whether the NHL will *ever* return, at least in its current form, becomes a significant question.

President Bush is considering raising Social Security taxes. I think the line between neo-conservatism and authoritarian socialism just got a little bit blurrier today. Naturally, of course, he’s not going to tax everyone — just the rich. (“The rich” is everyone earning $90,000 or more, by the way. This apparently means my family should be walking around with top hats and monocles. Forgive me for not getting the memo.) Besides, we all know that the rich are evil scum-sucking leeches who deserve to be robbed at every opportunity and give nothing back to the nation … except millions of jobs, billions of dollars in charitable donations, and trillions of dollars worth of economic activity.

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Monday February 14, 2005

Posted in Thought on 14 February 2005 by Johnny

Once upon a time, the US had budget surpluses. Seriously! You can look it up! Whether these are tales of myth or not, the fact is that we are seriously screwed when it comes to having the receipts ledger match the expenses ledger. It’s one thing to engage in foreign policy that a majority of the population has doubts about. It’s quite another to recklessly and selfishly drive the nation toward fiscal calamity by purposefully driving federal spending to once unthinkable levels.

Exhibit A for the prosecution of Bush and the Republican Congress: this article from the Washington Post. Brace yourselves for annual deficits not too far short of ONE TRILLION DOLLARS. Between runaway Medicare costs worsened by the prescription drug benefit, borrowing funds for the Social Security privatization that increasingly looks like a shell game instead of a permanent fix so desperately needed, unknown amounts of yearly “emergency” expenses for whatever the army ends up taking on, radically accelerating costs of running vast bureaucracies like the Department of Education, and the huge amount of porkbarrel spending sure to find its way into the budgets, we’re not only spending more money, we’re spending more money at an accelerating rate.

The rosy projections that the administration points to, ones of hearty future surpluses, imply that the tax cuts that Bush wants to be made permanent will actually disappear. The president, of course, wants to keep talking the rhetoric of the small-government crusader, and that means low taxes. I support the reforms that he wishes to undertake, such as eliminating the Alternative Minimum Tax and reducing taxes on capital income (i.e. bank interest and the like). But for the love of the children, WE HAVE TO CUT SPENDING. Of course, there are plenty more people saying the same thing, but no one wants to listen. “The days of [the government] being everything to everybody are quickly coming to a close,” Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC) said. Hallelujah. One of them sees the light.

It’s pretty straightforward. You can’t spend more than you make forever. It’s pretty clear that in the time that our generation holds political power, America’s fate is going to be decided. Not to sound like a complete lunatic, but the US could be a Third World country in our lifetimes. Let’s paint a picture, shall we? It’s somewhere around 2035. Yearly revenues, after a number of tax increases, are roughly $5 trillion, but spending has reached $8 trillion, almost entirely composed of Social Security and Medicare benefits. Foreign governments and investors are no longer willing to lend Washington more money to feed its spending binge, wondering if it might soon default on existing loans. Congress and the president fear for their lives (both figuratively and literally), frightened by a public incensed by both 60% tax rates and talk of all their government benefits being cut off. In response, they pass a law that abolishes the Federal Reserve and orders the U.S. Treasury to simply start printing money to cover the gap. As any economist worth their salt would tell you, this creates inflation.

Prices and interest rates immediately skyrocket. The cost of everything doubles virtually overnight — and keeps on rising. Credit card interest rates jump first to 30%, then 50%, then 100% before the banks decide to deactivate them. Faced with a dollar losing value by the day, people start hoarding everything they can. The lucky ones are able to empty out their bank accounts and convert whatever money they have left into Canadian or European currency. The stock market crashes, losing virtually all of its value before bolting its doors. State and municipal governments declare bankruptcy and shut down, unable to pay their bills. Banks are forced to raid their customers’ accounts to pay off their debts before they, too, close. The populace, surrounded by an economy imploding on itself, suddenly has to wonder about where it’s going to buy food tomorrow and whether they’ll have heat for the night.

You don’t think it could happen here? Look at Germany, circa 1922. The exact same thing occurred when they couldn’t meet pay their WWI reparations to France. This was an advanced, industrialized nation that was decimated by hyperinflation. Conditions became so horrible that they began to listen to the only man who spoke of restoring their nation to its former glory — a Bavarian politician and writer named Adolf Hitler. Indeed, given the gutless and entitlement-ridden course that our nation is traveling, destruction almost seems like a harsh inevitability. We have to END these programs before their incredible weight crushes us all. The government is not to be your mother. It should not do what you are capable of taking care of for yourself. Most importantly, Washington’s money does not come out of thin air. We’re quickly approaching the point where fiscal libertarianism is not a choice, but a requirement.

I’m Bryan Grady and I approved this message. Okay, manifesto done. Don’t kill me.

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Saturday February 12, 2005

Posted in Thought on 12 February 2005 by Johnny

Here’s a thoughtful article I found about smoking, liberty, and scary sociological trends. (Since the post, I’ve spent the last hour perusing this site. Brilliant stuff, y’all. Read it!)

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Saturday February 12, 2005

Posted in News on 12 February 2005 by Johnny

So Howard Dean is going to be named chairman of the Democratic National Committee. Gotta admit, picking a flameout from the nomination cycle is an mildly puzzling move, but it’s clearly a push to galvanize their base. Of course … well, is Mr. Dean a centrist or a liberal? Does anyone actually know? Hell, does he even know? This is one of those moves that will either look brilliant or imbecilic a little ways down the road.

After all, the chief role of the party chair is fundraising — something Dean did very well, y’know, before anyone actually voted. He raised money in Iowa … and New Hampshire … and in SOUTH CAROLINA! And in NORTH DAKOTA! And in MICHIGAN! AND OREGON!! AND PENNSYLVANIA!! AND NEW MEXICO!! AND THEN IN 2008 THE DEMOCRATS ARE GOING TO TAKE BACK THE WHITE HOUSE — YIIIAAAAAAAAAH!!!

I know. Easy cheap shot. Couldn’t resist. Really, though, props to the Dems for not picking a political hack. Honesty & bluntness are two things that politics sorely lack …

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Saturday February 5, 2005

Posted in Sports on 5 February 2005 by Johnny

Since all of you come to my blog for in-depth sports analysis (heh), here goes.

The Patriots have all the pressure on them. They’re the dynasty-to-be, if they pull this game out. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick (much to my dismay) have been annointed The Next Great Quarterback and The Next Great Coach, respectively. Both of them have plaques in Canton resting on this game. Conversely, Philadelphia has zero pressure. Just getting to the Super Bowl, in their fourth consecutive attempt, was an accomplishment in and of itself. The problem, however, is that New England has superior talent.

The Eagles, though, will have Terrell Owens, the Human Publicity Machine. He also happens to be an above average wide receiver. Claiming that God has healed his broken ankle, he will trek out onto the field. The Philadelphia fans and players will be ecstatic. Philly’s offense will be a relatively well-oiled machine, at least between the twenties, in the first half. Meanwhile, Brady and Co. will be a bit sluggish coming out of the gate, with Corey Dillon having to face the glare of the intense big-game spotlight for the first time after many miserable years in Cincinnati. Like last year, defense will dominate early. Philadelphia 9, New England 7 at the half.

Fortunes change in the third quarter, however, when Tom Brady — always appearing to make the big play in big games — makes a spectacular pass to Deion Branch for a seventy-yard touchdown. The New England malaise ends and the Patriot defense tightens up dramatically. With fifteen minutes remaining, it’s New England 17, Philadelphia 12.

In the fourth, even with good offensive execution, the defenses step up to the challenge. Dillon, despite more than thirty carries, barely scratches out 100 yards. Neither quarterback passes for much better than 50%. Most noteworthy of all: Terrell Owens will have been largely ineffective, catching only three passes for about 25 yards. Philadelphia kicker David Akers is responsible for all of the Eagles’ points, tying a Super Bowl record with four field goals.

That is, until Philadelphia gains possession with three minutes left. Suddenly, McNabb is able to channel the spirit of John Elway. Most unbelievably of all, he’s able to complete several passes to the injured savior. Owens gains many of the Eagles’ yards. Finally, despite the fact that Philly has been kept out of the end zone the entire game, McNabb finds T.O. on a fade route to the corner. Touchdown! The Eagles fail on the two-point conversion, but who cares? Philadelphia 18, New England 17! T.O. is the hero! Hand him the MVP trophy right now!

The Eagles, however, left fifty-five seconds on the clock. After New England gets a solid kickoff return, the spectre of darkness and inevitability that is the Patriots permeates Alltel Stadium. With all three timeouts in their back pocket, New England is able to march methodically down the field. Belichick’s always-dour face and Brady’s ice-cold veins have been here before. Before long, a series of short passes out of the five-wide set are able to advance the ball into Philadelphia territory. Then New England pulls something completely unexpected — a quarterback draw? Brady stumbles his way to a first down.

After a couple of incomplete passes, the moment of truth arrives. Five seconds remain. The Patriots are out of time, so they point to their kicker, Adam Vinatieri. He won their last two Super Bowls for them on buzzer-beating kicks, so why stop now? This one, however, is a fifty-three yarder: quite long, even in the NFL. Even with THOSE odds, even with the Philadelphia kick blockers jumping high into the air, even with the pressure of the entire game on Vinatieri’s right foot, we all know how this story ends. We’ve seen it all twice before.

The kick barely clears the crossbar, just inside the left upright. New England 20, Philadelphia 18. Final.

Brady and Belichick clinch their immortality, much to my dismay. Terrell Owens is destroyed on the sidelines, as is the entire Philadelphia team. Brady wins his third Super Bowl MVP, even though he played a less-than-excellent game. Really, the award should go to Corey Dillon, but Brady is the prodigal golden boy from Michigan who could do no wrong. (Oh, how I loathe him.) Cleveland fans are left to wonder how Belichick could have been so incompetent as the Browns’ coach yet the greatest team leader of the modern era with the Patriots. Philadelphia tastes still another incredibly sour defeat with everything on the line, a sensation to which they have become accustomed.

Oh yes, I’m a pessimist. I’d love to be proven wrong, just like I was ecstatic when the Red Sox defied my nightmares and slew the Yankees in absolutely unbelievable fashion (they really, REALLY came back from 3-0 down! the miracle came true!) last October. Let’s hope I’m wrong. I’m pullin for you, Philadelphia.

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Wednesday February 2, 2005

Posted in News on 2 February 2005 by Johnny

The media, really … well, I know that the State of the Union festivities are pretty bland for them and all, especially since they get copies of both the president’s address and the Democratic response in advance, being the result of weeks of political hackery.

I can even understand the temptation to write the story in advance. But in all honesty, you shouldn’t also POST IT TO THE INTERNET IN ADVANCE. (It’s near 8:40 ET as I write, 20 minutes before the president’s speech begins.) So for those of you who want to know how Nancy Pelosi’s address went before she gives it, go to Fox News. Fair, balanced, and defying the space-time continuum.

<ADDED: 03.30> Now that the speech is, you know, actually over, here’s my lightning quick synopsis: Bush is not going far enough on Social Security and tax reform, but it’s a hell of a start. He wants to chip away at the central pillars of the neo-socialist government (even if a sledgehammer is more appropriate). Let’s hope the final proposals match the rhetoric. There’s other good news on the domestic policy front: Bush only briefly mentioned an anti-gay marriage amendment, primarily (I would guess) as lip service to his religious base. As noted, I’m quite ambivalent about the neocon agenda for the Middle East. Yes, America surely has the ability to overthrow all of the governments in the region, but should we?  Is that our duty? There is an analog here with economics. It is possible to manipulate our economy with interest-rate targeting, fiscal stimulus, and the like … but should we? The first question is not why, it seems, but how. Meanwhile, the Democrats oppose his plan and instead support … exactly the same thing. In conclusion, Harry Reid won’t get elected regardless of the advice I give him if he keeps pulling out a new metaphor every thirty seconds to try and sound more folksy and hip. It doesn’t work for yah. The Dems’ horrid response is here. (Props to C-SPAN for streaming video so I could actually see the speeches, blurry as they were …)

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